Writers Block

Back in Business

2009-02-22T10:24:00.002-05:00

Its been more than a minute since the last set of posts. To say that a lot has happened would imply that I'm gonna give you a break down as to what that alot may be. Unfortunately I've been way too high all this time to remember, so your gonna have to settle with a continuation of the mindless rambling of three yrs ago. Might not be as often. But it'll definately be there. For you. If you really have nothing to do with your time. You should though. Have something to do with your time. Go on. Do sum'n. Stop reading this. I'm only wasting your time. I'm not gonna say anything interesting.
I swear.

Jus remember this one

2007-08-12T13:42:00.000-05:00

Some Jehovas witnesses decided to pop by a while ago just as AnX was dropping off the clippers.

Vrooom!

AnX: Dyce!

T.D. Yah!

AnX: Here, likkl more.

Vrooom

And then I remembered this.

http://anthonyallerdyce.blogspot.com/2006/01/witness-woes.html

Quote of the day

2006-11-08T13:54:00.000-05:00

Good ol' Yosemite aka George W. Does it again with this one. "I meant to put that on my list of important things to do. Thanks for reminding me."

Press conference following elections & Rumsfeld resignation.

Ok...

2006-10-24T13:58:00.000-05:00

Ok guys.. I'm oficially bored.Time to clean house again.

Gotta Love The Taliban...

2006-10-13T12:11:00.000-05:00

Troops battle 10-foot marijuana plants - Peculiar Postings - MSNBC.com

Can You Believe this Shit!?!

2006-10-11T20:48:00.000-05:00

BBC NEWS | Business | Gas traders start giving it away

How dare these damn Brits GIVE AWAY GAS!!!! Don't the know that in todays society you gotta hoard up all the gas and pretend the prices are going through the roof?
Do they understand the repucussions of selling gas cheap? A fucking free for all!!!

Gas should be always be expensive for the same reasons diamonds are. Because people are dying for/ because of it.

It's a good thing that the consumers are still paying for this 'frre gas'. ya cause then all the dead Arabs would turn in their grave/ street corner/ under rubble (you get the point).

Would you?

2006-09-20T11:38:00.000-05:00

Another Solution!!!

2006-09-14T13:03:00.000-05:00

It seems as if is reall woman time now. Always used to hear my aunty talk about the power of the "P". And indeed what power it possesses. Well the women of Pereira, Colombia are having a "sex strike" in an attempt to get their criminal boyfriends/ husbands to stop the crimes. Women, take example.

See article here:

Colombia's gang wives call sex strike

published:
Thursday | September 14, 2006

BOGOTA, Colombia, (Reuters):

They are calling it the 'crossed legs' strike.

Fretting
over crime and violence, girlfriends and wives of gang members in the
Colombian city of Pereira have called a ban on sex to persuade their
menfolk to give up the gun.

After
meeting with the mayor's office to discuss a disarmament programme, a
group of women decided to deny their partners their conjugal rights and
recorded a song for local radio to urge others to follow their example.

"We
met with the wives and girlfriends of gang members and they were
worried some were not handing over their guns and that is where they
came up with the idea of a vigil or a sex strike," mayor's office
representative Julio Cesar Gomez said.

Disarm or else

"The
message they are giving them is disarm or if not then they will decide
how, when, where and at what time (they have sex)," he told Reuters by
telephone.

Gomez said the city, in Colombia's coffee-growing region, reported 480 killings last year.

Crime
and violence have dropped in Colombia since 2002 when President Alvaro
Uribe was first elected, promising to crack down on left-wing rebels
fighting a four-decade insurgency and the illegal militia groups who
formed to counter them.

But
cocaine-trafficking gangs and armed groups still roam parts of
Colombia, and murder and kidnappings remain a problem despite the fall
in crime statistics.

Stolen from

http://www.jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20060914/lead/lead3.html

The Solution!!!

2006-09-06T16:40:00.000-05:00

This article caught my eye. Apparantly the reason people weren't calling
Crime Stop was because they couldn't remember the number. Well big up
to the person who figured that one out. I sure as hell thought
it had to do something with the number of corrupt officers who in turn
snitch on the same citizens making the calls.

Jamaica Gleaner News - New number attracts more Crime Stop calls - Wednesday | September 6, 2006

Still think I got a really good reality tv idea along that theme.

Saw This One Coming

2006-09-04T13:03:00.000-05:00

For years we've watched in anticipation as this idiot harasses the daily commute of the animal kingdom. We all said it. "This fucka soon get himself eaten yu nuh."

Well a croc (being molested by Steve and Wife in above picture) devoured his beloved Sue (dog) in an attempt to get him. The said croc then waited a few years, cleverly disguised himself as a stingray therefore allowing the Croc Hunter to drop his defences, because everbody knows that stingrays are harmless.

Then when he least expected it stabbed him in the heart with the butterfly knife he recently purchased from a higgler in Half Way Tree. He put it in the "tail" part of his disguise.

We here at Writers Block would like to give a "Props To Crocs" Award to the sneaky bastard that got him.

As for irwin. Give tanx for years of wierdness. You truly were an Anthony Allerdyce favourite.

Rest In Peace you crazy motherfucker.

Call me Old Fashion

2006-09-04T11:12:00.000-05:00

Now call me old fasioned. I don't browse party sites often. However I just happened to be browsing BoomTribe and saw these. And a thought pops into ma head.

We certainly have come a long way from ball room dancing.

The only comment I'll make on the "Wedding"

2006-08-29T13:40:00.000-05:00

Cheer up Lad. It's a wedding not an execution...

Shadow

2006-08-29T10:53:00.000-05:00

Rhythm & Booze Strikes Again

2006-08-29T10:35:00.000-05:00

I guess when you mix the 2 the ultmiate party synergy is created. Mainsource Media's baby "Rhythm & Booze" has certainly grown into one of the most talked about events in our times. Big up To the Mainsource crew & looking fwd to seeing many more successful projects.

Observer Article http://jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/TeenAge/html/20060828T210000-0500_112184_OBS_A_STORM_AT_CURPHEY_PLACE.asp

Follow up stories.

2006-08-28T19:39:00.000-05:00

I have a number of problems with Jamaican media. One of which is the lack of follow up stories.
We get the latest shooting report but never yet get the aftermath.

America is now celebrating their disaster periodand the televisions are plastered with "Katrina - One year later" and "Footsteps of bin Laden". Our media is even covering this stuff. So why aren't we doing follow up stories on our dirt.

Like that time I got arresetd for weed in Sav. I wanna know what happened to the guy that was there 4 months already for stealing mangoes.
I wanna hear more stories about the 17 yr pregnant shotta that has communtites in complete & utter fear.
Whats going on with the "Dutty Deacon Child porno/ rape Videos"?
Whens he gonna hang?

Ye definately need some shows dedicated to that sort of stuff. Real investigative shit. Can put it in the space of that highly intellectual show Bikini Beach.

A.A

Fair Trade?

2006-07-15T15:55:00.000-05:00

Goes to show the value of the small things...

BBC NEWS | Africa | DR Congo backs 'guns for bikes'

Tink J'can Roads Bad?

2006-07-12T01:47:00.000-05:00

Somewhere in Bolivia...

An Idea For The Next J'can Reality Show....

2006-07-06T00:31:00.000-05:00

Anyone ever seen the Crime Stop announcements that come on from time to time. I just saw one and thought to myself

"Wouldn't it be great if they made this into an actual series with case updates & interrogation scenes. "

I mean think about it for a second. A J'can C.O.P.S. How funny would it be to follow Jamaica's finest on their daily activities of accepting bribes and drinking on the job. You just see the camera focus on them as they leave the bars.

Theme song should also be Baby Cham's Babylon Bwoy...

Bush Turns 60

2006-07-05T18:02:00.000-05:00

Good Ol' Yosemite Sam AKA George Bush turned 60 today. Jus wanted to big up the anti-christ on his big day. I'm sure you and Satan have happening party planned.

Business Mogul Or Common Thief!!

2006-07-05T17:35:00.000-05:00

So Ken Lay kick the bucket. The one time CEO of Enron (at one point the 7th largest business in North America) died at the age of 64. A Well known Christian, Lay was quoted to have said that God would have final judgement on him. Not only was he found guilty on all charges of embezzlement he was he was also found guilty of life and sentenced to death by heart attack.

R.I.P. yu filthy bastard!!!!

Dyce Poll Results

2006-07-05T16:25:00.000-05:00

A recent poll was conducted on whether or not I'm an insensitive, selfish prick. So I've goten a few interesting results.

It seem as if I'm 25% insensitve 40% sefish and 35% prick.

But still 100% me!!!!

Thanx guys... you really know how to make a guy feel loved...

Quote Of The Day

2006-05-15T21:39:00.000-05:00

"Losers, I'll see you in the boardroom. Somebody's getting fired..."

Donald Trump
The Apprentice

Is Hell Freezing Over?!?!?

2006-05-11T13:00:00.000-05:00

What Unnu Tink Bout Dis?

2006-05-11T11:44:00.000-05:00

Jus passing the radio a while a guh and Ms. Gloudon talking to some guy about 2 sets of young people.

The set that willing to sacrifice and fight the good fight. You know them. Start at the bottom and work their way too the top and do whatever it takes. Shows commitment & dedication to the job at hand. A real team player.

Then we have the "get ma shit to me... not now but right now!!" set who as the name suggests has no time for the who, what, where & how's. The major motivation to get him off his feet is not gaining experience, but simply pay him his worth.

Of course her side of the discussion is for the one's who are willing to do what the elders did. Suck it up, grow, some balls and work. I'm stll not too sure what the stuttering fool on the other ends point was but I for one have always wondered what it was like back then. We read the books, watch the documentaries, even interview the people themselves but can never really begin to fathom the experiences of those times because we simply weren't there.

But we are here. Fighting social injustices while trying to get a piece of the cake. Unfortunately we are told that our slice wont be based on work put in but rather by our age.So we are encouraged to work for a "drinks money". Our time & efffort, rent, light bill, water bill, gas, school fee, child support school loans, car loans is not a concern at all, especially in such a stable economy.

So are our complaints any different than those of our elders in their days. Maybe different problems. But we are still sacrificing, sweating bleeding and crying for our positios in society. If I'm qualified to do a job, pay me based on that, especially if is good work. But do not lecture me about experience because you were 40 before you made it t where you want to be. My plans differ from yours.

All i'm saying is give the youts a bligh...

Star Trek Racist?!?!

2006-05-11T10:02:00.000-05:00

Why all the black people on Star Trek look suh fuck up??!?! Don't believe me? Lets look at 2 of the main Black characters. We got a clearly gay blind guy and anther one who's mother seems to have fucked a turtle. Didn't have to say anything much bout Whoopi. She already looks like a fucking alien!

Post Inspired by Paul Mooney

And Now.... The Most Offensive (but strangley "funny") Site Of The Year Goes To....

2006-05-10T13:08:00.000-05:00

http://killbattyman.blogspot.com/

Bad Man Tek Back Chat!!!!!

2006-05-10T09:45:00.000-05:00

We've all heard of him... Zacarias Moussaoui, suspected 9/11 conspirator, is now saying his whole confession was a lie and he doesn't wanna die. He is also an avid Shaggy fan...

Bad Man Nuh Tek Back Nuh Chat!!!!!

JaVibes Cancelled... YTT Still On

2006-04-17T15:57:00.000-05:00

Sorry guys.. but YTT will be worth it...

JaVibes Returns!!!

2006-04-09T20:18:00.000-05:00

Finally...

Adventures Of Unemployed Guy

2006-03-29T19:05:00.000-05:00

So ever since Monday I've been officially unemployed and although "nuh funds nah run" I must say it feels extremely satisfying to be home. Monday I spent the day driving around Kingston with Angry Bob looking for shit to do. We quickly realised in order to stay sane in this city is to take the occasional road trip. No plans. Jus drive. So with an Australian national as our guide in our own country, we set out to St. Thomas in search of getaway where it would jus be us. The pic you see is where we ended up. I couldn't even begin to describe the journey which included a 10 - 15 min hike on a cliff side and a brave dog rescue by yours truly. But just a small reminder that all hope is not lost in this wasteland we call home. One important reminder however is that it was a foreigner that showed us this place. We really never get to see this place the way some tourists do.

And I'm Goooone!!!!!

2006-03-24T12:39:00.000-05:00

Finally the Monopoly man decided to let me go. Just 5 mins. ago he called me one side and gave me my last pay cheque. It was already agreed that i wasn't gonna stay on. Now I'm thinking of what to steal out of the store room. Anybody wants a 200 gig hard drive?

As for future employment... Hotel Lobbies here I come!!!

Zekes All By Himself

2006-03-24T11:33:00.000-05:00

Batty Don Donald "Zekes" Phipps is all by himself now as his co-accused Garfield Williams has been set free. The A.I.D.S. ridden batty badman from Matthews Lane is accused of a double homocide. The bodies of the two men were found in an open lot in Rose Town, near Matthews Lane, downtown Kingston, on April 15 last year. The bodies were badly burnt and had gunshot wounds to the head & Zekes' D.N.A found in their mouth.

I say the guillotine...

Chef Gone!!!!

2006-03-24T11:04:00.000-05:00

The beloved Chef from Comedy Central's South Park is no longer with us. The character has been killed. Isaac Hayes played the voice of the advisor to the South Park kids and has decided not to be a part of the show anymore because of a recent episode in which they made fun of Scientology. Hayes is a disciple of this cult and the little aliens told him that being insensitive to religion could result in anal probing.

Sigh...

2006-03-23T11:09:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure what it is. Feeling uninspired & demotivated these days. Think I'm just sick of this job and the scenery. Feel another trip coming along.

I cut work the other day & went to the river with Oscar the Grouch and the new girl. That was cool for exactly 2 mins after which we were invaded by a bit too many balls. So we left there & went to Why Not for a drink. Then after a while you just feel numb after realising you've just been staring at each other with pretty much nothing left to say. To Port Royal we go for fish tea. After talking briefly about doing a party at Frenchmens Cove we quickly realised we have all apparantly committed intellectual suicide and would be better off chopped up and used as manure.

Anyways... better days to come... i hope

JamaicaVibes Update

2006-03-20T09:24:00.000-05:00

JaVibes has been postponed until further notice...

Mainsource & Appleton Presents Riddim & Booze

2006-03-17T11:21:00.000-05:00

Blog Update

2006-03-16T11:03:00.001-05:00

For the inquiring minds wondering whats up with the lack of posts.... see blog title

Scared Of Lizards?

2006-03-09T09:57:00.000-05:00

If your afraid of those nasty scaly reptiles here's some advise. Don't put your bed against the wall & then go and sleep right up against it. The route of these creatures take when trodding through your house usually include the walls. Lets just say i found that out the hard way this morning...

Quote Of The Week

2006-03-08T12:52:00.000-05:00

Progression is for losers who don't realize the good of laziness... Rozanne Rudd

Quick Question

2006-03-08T10:17:00.000-05:00

if yu knock out a rasta... is he still concious??

JamaicaVibes Update

2006-03-06T10:48:00.000-05:00

DiFamli Presents JamaicaVibes - Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow to be held on March 27, 2006 at The Oakton Park Entertainment Centre 5-7 Hagley Park Rd.

This show will be a blend of 3 eras of music, Vintage, Upcoming & Current.

The line up includes:

Ken Booth

Pam Hall

Shaq the MC

J-Lee

Keisha Patterson

Shanique Sinclair

Abebe Payne

Tafani

Oba Simba

Alaine

Wayne Marshall

Come Out an hol' some Vibes wid DiFamLi!!!

Job Shituation

2006-03-03T09:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday it was jus me an my bredrin in the office for a while. So he made me know that my boss actually found someone to fill my shoes and was gonna tell her to come to work yesterday without informing me. The funny thing is that about a week ago he offered me the job permanently (not that I would stay). I wonder if has anything to do with kicking the ladder while he was standing on it or attempting to electrocute him.

Well apparantly the woman found another job so he's stuck with me for a little bit longer. Just made sure to inform him that I wasn't planning on staying unless he was gonna start having strippers serve me drinks round the clock.

I Apologise

2006-02-28T10:24:00.000-05:00

Since the last post i've gotten a little heat from a few friends. So while it was a joke i would like to most sincerley apologise for the comments made about Sister P. It was purely insenstitve and sexist.

Is that ok L? Can I get some now?

Panty Government

2006-02-27T10:08:00.000-05:00

Well here we go ladies n gents. The 7 th Prime Minister also happens to be the 1st woman Prime Minister in our history. Congratulations "Sister P". As she so eloquently stated "Mama Come". The patriarch system is over and we're now gonna be run by thongs, tampons and hormone imbalances. Not to sound sexist, for i do believe the change in gender wil be an interesting experience, but we do need to question her ability to do the job. I for one don't feel real comfortable having to worry about if the cost of living is going to rise because her menstural cycle. I implore you Mr. Miller, keep her happy, the nation is depending on you.

Who Let The Queers Out!?!?!?

2006-02-23T09:31:00.000-05:00

These comments were taken from the previous post.

Anonymous said...
It is clear that you are not comfortable with your sexuality. This basically means that you are not gay because you love women, but you are not gay because you are afraid that you will enjoy it too much when in the presence of other men. (YOU CANNOT TRUST YOURSELF). Soca brings males and females together, it is very sad that you can only focus on the male. I for one am very happy that you & your kind do not participate in such events. Here is a resolution for you in 2006 have a mature relationship with a WOMAN not a GIRL, experience adult entertainment, and then and only then will you have the right to comment on activities involving women. Enjoy the company of you pen & paper, who am I to judge you if that is all you have to bring you joy. ☺
5:18 PM
Anonymous said...
This is your opinion, and i am glad tha its an opnion and not fact....
5:26 PM
Anonymous said...
UNEDUCATED & MISINFORMED FINDING.
5:27 PM
Anonymous said...
It sounds like you were with a women, you enjoyed it, then you found out it was a man. Dont hate us all for your mistake, seek theorpy...
5:30 PM
Anonymous said...
You sound like a small dicked insecure young man who is constanly losing his women to men you dance soca. Most likely this is beacuse they are using there Waistline' s more effeciently. Dont wory, there is hope for you...if you cant use your waist then you need to use your FACE...Dont hate the PLAYER hate the GAME....
5:35 PM
Anonymous said...
SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE YOU RAPED ?.....wussa, wusaalet the Healing begin
5:49 PM
Anonymous said...
You sound like a GAY teenager in denial
5:57 PM

N.B. Effects of too much T.V. Soca & Gay Porn....

Carnival

2006-02-22T11:15:00.000-05:00

Never really been a fan of soca, but alas its that time of year where women dress down and i mean way down and jump up and down in the streets. Unfortunately so do some men. Whether its an excuse to wine out other peoples women or jus that they're just plain gay the thought disaturbs me greatly. I wonder if its only the intelligent few realise the fagotty undertones that are soon to be just as loud as the sound systems playing the international battyman music.

lets break it down a bit....
A few years ago they decided to merge soca and reggae and cleverly refering to it as "SO-GAE". All I have to say is YES IT IS!!!

Then there's the BACH-ANAL. Sepearate and apart from the obvious, this word originates from the worship of the greek god Bacchhus who as you can see from the picture is obviously queer.

Now I love seeing women "gettin on bad" and enjoying themselves, but i also have to be aware that in these days and times the "women" might actually be that "chick" from The Crying Game. So gents, a word to the wise, if ya'll decide to partake in the pagan festivities please to ensure you hand check all necessary body parts of what is supposed to be the opposite sex to ensure you dont become a victim of the "I thought you knew" dilema.

Telstar Peace Concert

2006-02-21T11:26:00.000-05:00

This Thursday marks the 10 yr anniversary of the death of David Darby founder of Telstar Cable Limited. As a result Telstar is throwing a Peace Concert in his honour on Thursday Feb 23 at Weekenz 80 Constant Spring Road. Showtime 6 pm. Adm: Free

Show your support... or they'll cut off your cable!!

Turn The Tables

2006-02-20T12:21:00.000-05:00

My boss looks as if he's tryin to find my replacement before he vocalises he wants me gone.

Well fuck dat!! I'm gonna find my own replacement and then tell him I'm quitting!!!

Ha!

The End Is Near

2006-02-16T10:34:00.000-05:00

I really believe I might be on my way to the unemployment line, which although its gonna hurt ma pocket I'm kinda glad about it.

Boss thinks he's smart though. Tryin to interview my replacement before I get to work. Well I caught him in the act this morning.

I guess I should start looking for a new job. Schizo Jerry suggested i grow my hair and become a rent-a-dread. Wouldn't be that bad I thinks. Hang out at hotels all day, lots of travel opportunities, tax free money and a lot of pussy.

North coast here I come.

Who Get Water From Hermitage?

2006-02-15T11:01:00.000-05:00

THE BODY of 19-year-old Benton Barnes was recovered yesterday afternoon from the Hermitage Dam in St. Andrew, three days after he drowned there.
Howard Newell, water production manager at the NWC, yesterday assured the public that the body would not affect the quality of water. He also emphasised that "individuals should stay away from the dam, as it is a prohibited area". According to Mr. Newell, all sporting activity, including swimming, was forbidden. He admitted though that NWC did not have the resources to patrol the dam.
Mr. Newell yesterday said the company had a thorough purification process and analysed samples every hour.

*If unnu si some wierd shit floating in your glass of water... think nothing of it... probably jus decaying flesh...

Jamerica?!?!?!

2006-02-15T10:47:00.000-05:00

Jus catching up on the news on saw this article in the gleaner (http://www.jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20060215/lead/lead1.html) about the probability of decriminalising homosexuality in Jamaica. This has been in debate for a looong time now and with the current trends in global policies you cant help but to wonder if this might come to pass.

We see in the States where they've pretty much cut out stuff like devotions and religious practises and even religious clothing in schools. We seem to be losing the moral fibre and our "shit stinks to high heaven" (Shaq The M.C.).

Soon we'll be singing "land of the queers and home of the slaves".

Jamerica land we love?

Pissed Off The Boss

2006-02-13T19:58:00.000-05:00

Today I fucked up a call, so the boss decides to call n cuss me out... He doesn't know that only makes shit worse... So when he came back in the office he proceeds to change a florescent bulb... with me by the switch...

Anthony: "Now?"
Boss: "NO!! AHHHHHH!!!"

hehehehehe

Life Of A Single Black Man

2006-02-13T09:04:00.000-05:00

Its always interestiong being on the dating scene. You meet so many wierdos disguised as attractive women. I've been out with all sorts. Race doesn't really affect me that much anymore these days. I must admit to not being a big fan of white chicks but if one happens to come by that catches my eye I'll indulge.

But yes my friends i've been out with all types. One thing is common among most of the Jamaican women i've been with is the misconception that sex = relationship. So to save myself a whole lot of unnecessary drama i have decided not to fuck around anymore. Ha! that doesn't work either. Then all i get is that I'm such a gentleman for not going after the cooch right away. It's not that i'm trying to be respectful. I'm jus tryin to save myself the trouble.

I remeber going out with this girl I really liked. Nice n tall, slender, a real sexy bitch to say the least. And intelligent too!! Went out a few times, and always had fun.
Then the drama. Dont let that bitch drink. Awwww Helll Naaa!! I'm talkin bout draggin her away from the party b/c she's about to stab an armed officer (weapon already drawn i might add) with a dinner fork. After which vomting all over my new Ralph Lauren polo's. Thanx alot. Then later on I found out that she swings both ways, and while that is somewhat a turn on I would have like to have known she was a muff diver before sticking my tongue down her throat. Hey maybe I could have even arranged my porn directorial debut (still pending I might add).

Then we have the Chatta-Box. She openly admits to having a genetically inhereted disease known as Verbal Diarrhea or Cantshutthehellupitis. She talks about everything and nothing. It was ok at first b/c we were keepin the conversation flowing. Well it flowed and flowed till I nearly drowned. At one point i tried to play a game me an Superstar Trevor sometimes play where we stay quiet for a while and try to name all the sounds we heard during that time.

Girl: "So what'd you hear?"

Allerdyce: "You dammit!!"

I even went so far as to try to pay her to shut up for 5 mins. Didn't work. Sigh!

Then there's the rebound chick. And guys... PLEEAASSSSEEE stay away from this one.

"Hey Anthony whats up?"

"Nutten much. how you? Sound kinda down."

" Yah... Me n Mr. Man not talking right now."

"Eeeeh..." (At this point remembering that ass)

"Soooo... what yu up to later?" rebound chick asks.

"Anything you up to yu nuh"

"Come link mi den nuh"

So I reach and all the heffer wants to do is talk about her man!!! Ladies please.... thats what your girlfriends are for. Reserve us for the job of replacing the missing dick.
So anyways I sit and listen thinkin i must get rewarded for this somehow. And I do. With a fresh batch of cookies b/c she bakes when she's depressd. So finally she gives in and things start happening. Then the worst thing a woman can do during sex happens (and no she didn't fart). She starts to cry.

"Bye!!!"

As you can see my life with women can be very interesting at times. We also have the "cheating woman". These are good for nice time just as long as thats all your interested in. I mean sh'es already willingly cheating on her man right.
In the room getting down n dirty when her phone rings. Mr. Man is 5 mins. away from the house. Gives me enough time to get dressed, go out the back, jump two fence and come out through a neighbors gate. Just as i'm walking through down the road there's the trifling ho huggin up her man at her gate.

Allerdyce: "Wait... Tanya? This is where you live? If I had known I would stop by a few times. I'm always in this neighborhood!!"

I swear... All i'm doing is looking for love.

How They Found Bun Man

2006-02-10T22:40:00.000-05:00

BUN MAN DEH PON HI5!!!

www.shower5.com

Pan Chicken

2006-02-09T11:01:00.000-05:00

From Red Hills Rd to Manor Park to Northside Plaza, pan chicken is the food of choice for all session goers. Smoked to perfection and seasoned to the bone its like a delicacy especially to those who have been away for a while.

But i have 1 question.... WHERE THE HELL DO THEY GET THAT CHICKEN FROM???

And where the hell do they store it?

No matter waht time or how many people are there, chicken always enough for everybody. Then i notice that everywhere in jamaica you go you bound to find stray animals. Not just chickens either. So how come none of these animals hang out at the pan chicken man? An food a cook...

Nah sah... unnu caan trick me!! Some pan dog an rat dem give the people dem fi eat.

But hey.. it sure hits the spot after a night of drinking and partying.

Bon Appetit

Another Shaq The MC Link

2006-02-06T11:08:00.000-05:00

http://www.myspace.com/shaqthemc

Rain/ Bleak Weather = No Productivity

2006-02-06T10:54:00.000-05:00

What is it about the rain or bleaky weather that impedes productivity? It's like a chemical reaction. Rain a fall, dat mean bed for the rest of the day. I wonder if its only Jamaicans that think that way. Doubt it. Although in other parts of the world people work no matter whats going on. Snow storm, grab the shovel Billy, I gotta get to work on time. In England I've heard the weather is pretty much like that all the time. I guess if I lived there i'd starve to death. I am at work now and all i can think about is an excuse to go home. None of my friends has the balls to call in a bomb scare for me.

But really though, what is it about this weather that makes you wanna just laze out the rest of the day?

Politics Explained

2006-02-05T17:39:00.000-05:00

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Bye Bye Steady Income

2006-02-03T09:58:00.000-05:00

I guess Mr. bossman did get the message. Dammit! It's not like i love the job or anything like that. God knows i cant stomach being here, but i was kinda gettin use to not having to eat out of the garbage and beggin for money to buy crack. I guess i could go clean windscreens at the traffic light.

So this woman comes in this mornig asking for the boss. As I look at her i think that this must be my replacement. I wanted to tell her that the boss wasn't here and he's very disorganised like that and she should bare that in mind. But he was standing right there.

He still hasn't said anything to me about it though, but i'm already thinking about all the mean things i should do to him. I'll keep ya'll posted as to whats happening.

Which is Harder?

2006-02-01T11:09:00.000-05:00

Is it harder to do the actual work or pretend to do it?

How Racist

2006-01-31T10:37:00.000-05:00

Ok ok ok... we know how fucked up things are in Kenya right. These people are in desparate need of help..

Never Fear!!!! Whites To Tha Rescue:

Kenya rejects aid of 'dog food'

Kenya's government is outraged by an offer of food aid from a New Zealand dog food manufacturer to help the 4m people hit by drought.

But Christine Drummond told the BBC she could assure Kenyans that the nutritional supplement she was offering was "definitely not dog food".
It is "a high-powered food full of nutrients. It tastes yummy," she said.

The minister co-ordinating the relief effort, John Munyes, told the AFP news agency the offer was in "bad taste".
Kenyan government spokesman Alfred Mutua told Kenya's Daily Nation newspaper that any food aid must be up to standard.
"Kenyan children are not in such shortage of food to resort to eating dog food," he said.

'Loving country'

The founder of the company which makes Mighty Mix dog biscuits says her freeze-dried Raw Dry Nourish is "like having a big meal in a teaspoon".
"I have been formulating it for special people like in Kenya, the people who need it the most to keep strong," Ms Drummond told the BBC's Focus on Africa programme.

She was originally quoted in the Daily Nation as saying she wanted to send dog biscuits but when she heard how many people needed food aid, decided to send the powder.

But she said that this was a misunderstanding and her only desire had been to help malnourished children in Kenya.

"I am offering a natural food supplement... I am donating this food out of the goodness of my heart and to try and show that New Zealand is a loving country," Ms Drummond said.

She said she sprinkles the powdered supplement on her porridge every morning.

Kenya's Director of Medical Services Dr James Nyikal said: "There is no way that the ministry can allow dog food mixture to be brought in for human consumption."

Kenya has declared a national disaster because of the food shortages, which follow poor rains across the north.

Racist - rac·ism ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rszm)n.
The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.

Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

Sending dog food to starving black people "to keep them strong"

*...better dem sen dem some turn cornmeal an liver dont? Pussies...

How You Know Your About To Lose Your Job

2006-01-30T11:49:00.000-05:00

The phone rings so I get it. It's a woman who wants to talk to my boss about the girl for the job that they spoke about on Thursday. Ha... cant trick me!! I know whats up.

"Sorry Mr. Bossman isn't hear right now, but I'll be sure to give him the message."

Bossman "Any calls for me Anthony?"

"Not one yu nuh."

Cow Itch Invasion!!!

2006-01-30T10:50:00.000-05:00

Now for the past week I've been thinking I must be losing my mind. I've ben itching like crazy, and yes I do bathe thoroughly & often. So here I am thinking that all the shit I've ever done to people, animals or places have finally caught up with me. Maybe there is some truth to that sins biting you myth, but if that was so i'm sure i would of been dead within the first 5 mins. of the epidemic.

But I mean some serious itching. Thought I had leprasy or some shit. My eye lash itched. Now I couldn't tell anybody seeing as how my family already believes that I'm a few cards short of full deck so this would only confirm my admission to Bellvue. (I've heard them whisper "All we need is two signatures yu nuh, jus two and we get rid of him").

So i go on a cleaning spree. It must be something in my room thats causing this. I clean, I wash, I scrub, I disinfect... nothing. I cant take it anymore. I gotta tell somebody.

"I cant stop itching!!"

Aunty "Guh Bade. Nasty yu nasty!"

"I've taken like 8 showers in the past 12 hours. That cant be healthy."

"A joke, is cow itch a blow in the wind."

Now here I am thinking about every questionable piece of ass i've had in the past 2 yrs, only to realise that its on of those "only in jamaica" phenomenons. Cow itch pollen seems to be jus floating in the air. Yep jus that simple. Just floating around and landing on eveything and everyone. All those baths only made it worse cause the little friggers found there way to my towel & rag.

Now while I am comforted to know that my sanity remains in tact, I'm now known for scratchin uncontrollably in public. So yes I'm now perceived as a nasty raas. But guys I swear... It was the cow itch!!

Dead End Job

2006-01-27T10:26:00.000-05:00

We've all gone through it, some of still are. The dead end job that isn't benefiting us in any way other than contributing to the bills. We drag ourselves out of bed even before the sun or god, for that matter, wakes up in the useless effort to beat the misery that is rush hour traffic. To my St. Catherine friends my heart goes out to you.

Our journey is not only made miserable by the traffic, but for those of us who try to listen to the radio are made nauseous by the mindless ramblings of the eeeediat morning personalities. "Make me Laugh" makes you dry heave at the sound of Dorraine's hhee hee hee's and ha ha ha's. The jokes are, have not, never will be even mildy amusing. As a matter of fact they're downright depressing.
Francois's "Goooooooood Mooooorning Jaaaaaaaa-maaaaiiiicaaaaaaaa!!!!" makes me wanna do a drive by on the RJR building and hurl coktail bombs at it.
I get exhausted just listening to Jenny Jenny's bubbly personality. (you know she might be on drugs right? nobody's that happy)

So we've already started the day on a good foot. We finally get to work and keep try to remind ourselves why we're here.

"Have to pay off that loan"

"Mortgage due this month"

"I bet the fassy dem a guh cut of mi phone today"

"Jah know.. baby modda a stress mi pocket"

So we muster up the motivation and get out of the car. You reach the elevator and the president or senior management is in there with you. You decide to entertain yourself a bit, and just as you appraoch your floor you let one rip (has to be a silent one) and step out. Hey your already having a bad day. The satisfaction of having farted on your boss muss ease some of your frustration. I can testify to that.

Reach the office/desk/cubcile/intergalactic spaceship (or whatever you pretend it to be so you don't go postal on everybody) and go through the motions. You pencil push, file, answer phones, take verbal abuse from customers, managers, co-workers, janitors ("yu need fi move yu nuh cause mi haffi clean dis spot right now an mi nuh business wah yu a do... work me a work") and you realise that the world hates you.

So what am i doing? Well you sacrifice time, energy, emotions and sanity to do a good job for someone else. Your unappreciated and sometmes viewed as ungrateful. After all, look how much mad man on the road. I say it was their 9-5 that made them that way. What about the crack you ask. It was their job that made em do it. So I think its time to put that energy into something else. Find your niche and work with it. If you find yourself not enjoying your work, so much so you end up writing blogs, and viewing pages such as www.stickpage.com (great site by the way) just to keep you entertained you need to step up your game. Note that what you do in life isn't dependent on what you studied in school either. Take Angry Bob for example. Who would have known he studied at a "pretigious" university? What does he do now? He takes pictures. Yep. It's that simple. And oh yea... he gets paid too.

Really though life is way too short for us to be spending it making other people happy when both you and they know that you wont succeed. So make yourself happy I say. Go to work if you feel like it. Take long breaks, leave early and don't tell anybody. Whatever makes you happy. It's time for us to start treating ourselves and making us happy.

TO HELL WITH THE BOSS!!!!

The M.C. Ready For The Road

2006-01-26T12:27:00.000-05:00

Ya'll know him... Ya'll been waitin to hear whats been goin on, whats been happening... Well you guys are the one's thats gonna make it happen... Click on the folowing link and rate your boy...

http://15megsoffame.com/artist/3506/shaq-the-mc

More Local Television Torture

2006-01-26T12:13:00.000-05:00

Started thinking about commenting on the Bmobile Singles show on CVM. Now I'm thinking maybe i shouldn't contaminate the blog with that fuckery. Or maybe i just don't think they're worth the attention.

What do you guys think?

Witness Woes

2006-01-26T09:48:00.000-05:00

It's not easy being a Jehova's Witness. Imagine walkin around in mid-day sun tryin to spread the word dressed in a jacket & tie or that repulsive frock. (I for one never understood dressing up like that in a tropical climate, can you imagine the sweat).

Yes they stroll around with huge umbrellas & big hats looking for heathens to convert. Armed with their M16's (M for Mark) and the Holy Spirit, this battalion marches through communities spreading "the word" to whoever will listen, despite verbal attacks from the not-so-righteous mobs.

"Unnu a pray to white man!!!"

"Full Time Jehova witness YOU a fuck some pum pum!!" (tenx Twins)

"Oh.. Suh yu a witness... We shot informa roun here!"

They've been comin to my house for years. I could never figure out how to get them to stop. My fault really. The one time you entertain them you'll be guarenteed a visit the following week... and the week after that.... and the week after that. Very persistent set. Trust me on this.

So after you've accommodated them once, how do you get them from stop coming?

Well here's a few of things to say when caught in that position

1. "Umm... Jehova? Isn't that Jay-Z?"

2. "And you know... i was just watching Jesus Christ Superstar"

3. "You guys are jus in time for the seance. Hope ya brought incense"

4. "Our Dark Lord welcomes you"

But the one my granma tells me works the best is:

"Hello my brothers & sisters. Praise Jehova"
(If your a witness they aint got no reason to come back)

If ya'll can think of more discouraging statements to say to these freaks, let me know.